Sunday, May 25, 2008

Who's the DOG now!?

In response to my favorite dog's comment, I am sad to tell all my readers that my dog has officially reached STAGE 5 of his DOG syndrome. Remember about a few post ago, I managed to highlight about my "dog" or shall we say the world's first human dog.
















Yup, to the dog out there, this is a post about you. Dedicated from me to you, just wishing you to live your life to the fullest. Don't worry what you think about yourself cause you can never change one fact, and that is about your DOG disease. I would like to wish you all the best in your future undertakings and if you want any pedigree, just give me a call and I as your MASTER will be all too glad to help you.

Just joking... You think I care? I don't give a damn about you. You are a disgrace to all the dogs out there. You know that dogs should be loyal to their Master? Just like this dog..














Anyway, since I am using a cacat computer to write this post, you are one mofo- lucky dog cause I can't upload embarrassing pictures about you. Now, going back to the topic, as your master, you should be thankful for having such a wonderful master like me. If it weren't for me, do you think that the DOGS HAVE RIGHTS TOO foundation would have accumulated around U$ 10 mil? This proves to us that there are many kind souls out there who are willing to save you but the question is now

ARE YOU SAVING YOURSELF?

I have a letter send by a concerned good Samaritan.. This is how it looks like..




44, Jalan Anjing,

45300 Tanah Anjing,

Woof Woof Dahrul Anjing.

To: Dato’ Paul

Fund Manager

DOGS HAVE RIGHTS TOO

FOUNDATION

Dear Sir,

Concern About The Human Dog’s Welfare

Without further a due, I would like to take this wonderful opportunity to congratulate you for your success in raising up to U$ 10 million in funds for our mother earth’s first HUMAN DOG. This opens a new era of revolution for mankind and with all the faith and belief I had entrusted in you, I have full confidence about you handling your responsibilities well .

2. However, the human dog’s welfare has always been my number 1 concern. The human dog (code name: Ch

ua Chen Yi 1992 ) has reached stage 5 of this syndrome. I am concern about his daily food intake and how he manages his daily life.

3. As a concern soul, I would love to have a reply later of you telling me about the daily activities of this HUMAN DOG. Aristotle once said “ World without dogs is a cruel and inhumane world.” As a great philanthropist myself, I know this world needs dogs so that they can be repaid with loyalty and trust. However, this dog’s ability to be loyal has raise doubts in my mind.

4. Lastly, I hope that you will be ready to give me a proper answer regarding to the title above. It would be my great pleasure to receive your honorary reply regarding this letter.

Yours truly,

___________________

( Anonymous Dog Lover)



See that? Someone is concerned about the human dog. It is so touching and it made my eyes swelled up with tears.Do you know how lucky you are? There are people out there who are concerned about you but what you do? Go cyber cafe, smoker. Let me tell you why you wear braces. It is because your canine tooth is lopsided just like a bulldog.








You think you are cool is it? You think by dropping your pants will make you suddenly turn into a cool hunk? Let me tell you, you ain't cool, you are just like a small puppy trying to be a tiger. You walk like a duck and you bark like a chihuahua.

I even wrote a poem about the HUMAN DOG

A Dog Sits Waiting

A dog sits waiting in the cold autumn sun.
Too faithful to leave, too frightened to run.

He's been here for days now with nothing to do,
but sit by the road waiting for you.

He can't understand why you left him that day.
He thought you and he were stopping to play.

He's sure you'll come back, and that's why he stays.
How long will he suffer? How many days?

His legs have grown weak, his throat's parched dry.
He's sick now from hunger and falls, with a sigh.

He lays down his head and closes his eyes.
I wish you could see how a waiting dog dies.


So sweet..so that's all about my dedication to the HUMAN DOG. To the human dog, you may say all u like, continue to drop your pants, continue to act cool but you cannot change one fact,


AND THAT IS YOU WILL FOREVER BE THE


ONE AND ONLY



HUMAN DOG



Saturday, May 10, 2008

How to be A Cheer Leader

Today, I am going to blog about how to become a cheerleader.

Cheerleaders..










So hot..

Now, coming back to the topic. In order to become a cheerleader, you must have enthusiasm and and spirit.



















Second, you got to have the right attire. A shirt which represents your support to the team like




















Yes. Then, one has to have a pom-pom.




















After dressing up as a cheerleader, you got to be spirited and ready to scream your lungs out.

Just like this cheerleader
















And if u manage to fulfill all the requirements above, you should look something like this














And if you manage to do the split, it should be something like this,








<---- Cheer 2008 reject..








That a new style called the One leg Split invented by Dato' Paul (who else).

Thanks for reading and special thanks to the photographer Audrey. =]

Don't judge a boy by its FACE

This post is dedicated to all the losers out there.

Losers like


















Ya..See this loser..

What a loser he is. He is a smoker, drug addict and drinker. He likes to gamble and look at pretty woman. When he looks at woman like










He looks something like these..















Now back to the topic. This bugger always go and gamble, steal, rob and even involve himself in murder. He even rape this pretty woman.
























He everytime also like to do this post..

















LOSER

But wait..














And..
















What is this!?

To all the discriminators..
















IN YOUR FACE!!!!!

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Black or just Dark?

Racism, what has the world become today?

Racism is widely considered as one of the most cruel deeds on earth.



























What is racism?




<========= (Hint given) =]
















I said wrongly. I am not a racist. I love black people. I a doggist. I hate dogs. (Human dogs of course) I still love my real dog very much.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Jealous!?

I am off to Shrek's a.k.a. Vern Xien's house to play..
















I know...I know.. jealousy kills right?

















Ok..Ok..I look like the Undertaker..

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Dogs, Man's Best Friend Or Not o.O

Dogs.. Aren't they just cuteAs you know, there is a saying that dogs are men's best friend. I use to snort at this quote but i changed my mine when i met a dog. This dog is a class above all dogs but a class lower than humans.Its my honour to present you the one and only...



THE HUMAN DOG!!

If you think I am talking about some gay services, you are wrong. This is something very serious in our society today where the number of cases of people suffering from personality disorder has risen tremendously. It is starting to spread to the younger generation most notably teenagers from my batch. It is a social ill which is destroying our morality.

What is the definition of a dog? Let me tell you, the definition of a dog is an animal who likes to follow their master with a great sense of pride and loyalty. The human dog is no difference from a normal canine just that it is a dog trapped in a human body.

Sadly, this virus had infected one of my "friend" ( note the open inverted comas ^^).









<------ Sad case.



This is Shawty ( names will not be revealed to protect the person's identity). He had been infected
Dumbass
Osomosis
Gigolo

shortnamed DOG syndrome. Sadly, he has been infected with this disease since he was 14 years old. The first sign he was infected by this terrible disease is when he started to follow a certain number of people notably us with a great sense of loyalty. We taught it was nothing until last year when his conditioned worsened. When we met him, he proudly told us that he has FUR now.(WTF!?)

Me: Hey, your down there got hair already?
Shawty: Nop,I don't have hair. I have fur.
Me: (Dulan) Oh..

Anyway, lately I have seen whisker-like hair protruding out of his face. (This is not him la..Its gonna be him though) I feel sad knowing that he would become men's best friend. (DOG) There is nothing wrong being a dog but a HUMAN DOG!?! His condition now has gone from bad to worse. Doctors have said that he is now in Stage 4..almost reaching stage 5 where he will officially grow a tail and at Stage 6 he will only know how to bark. I plead to all those who is reading this post to give your best moral support to Shawty in order for him to overcome this tough period. He is starting to act like a dog and the only way for you to show your moral support is for you to buy him various dog accessories such as dog collar, dog rubber toy and a dog bowl. If you are his best friend, might be consider buying this for him...



Yes, correct. You know he needs a mate so that he won't be too lonely. ( He likes dogs with big,long nipples)








Going back to the topic, as you know he has been infected with DOG syndrome, he will soon become a dog. For interested buyers, please do not hesitate to call me at 03-77278831 or you can contact me at my handphone 012-2132125. My email address can be contacted at doglovers91@dogmail.com or please feel free to visit my website dedicated to my love for DOGS at www.dogs4Dogs.com.dog . Bidding price will start at U$ 1000 and the expected figure is to be U$ 40,000. All proceeds will be donated to charitable organizations such as Dogs Have Rights too Association and Say no to Dog meats Foundation founded by Yang Berhormat Dato' Anjing Tan bin Cibai Darren.



So? What are you waiting for. A new breed is going to be born and you are given exclusive advantage to pre-order this amazing breed. For those who have failed to purchase this dog, please do not feel sad because all you have to do is to buy him a female companion and the breeding process will begin.


Warning: Any lost of sugar is not compensated for the dog have a craving for sugar especially sugar with roti canai.

Foul words and unnecessary barking doesn't reflect on its owner upbringing of the dog because its just a dog's nature to act in such a manner.

For those who don't have any companions, the human dog is the perfect companion for you. As I said, dogs are men's best friends.


Until then, wait..









<---- Macho right?



What the "tut"..Why my arms suddenly got fur wan?



Must be taking too much of steroids..





This post in not intentionally to defame anyone and I sincerely apologized to anyone who felt offended after reading this post. (except the dog) I do hope in the future I will have better inspirations to come up with better post..

Is it lame? Please leave your sincere comments so that I can correct my misdeeds.

Thank you for reading this post. Your precious time is highly valued by me.

PS: Oh ya, for those who are interested in the dog, please remember to feed him Pedigree Beef with Mushroom flavour. It is its favorite food. =)

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Money makes the world go round..

Well, if you are reading this, I hope you understand what is this post about.


Money















is the essence of life.

Money







is the viagra of man.

Money is my life..



Lame Post..

But nvm

I am lame anyway..

Going to tuition(so lame)